I’ve decided that for my greatest feat of impossible love –
Following the borderline personality haunted by ghosts,
The 3-year pen pal with an endless cast of hidden boyfriends,
The secret affair with “married” woman,
The married childhood sweetheart with child who lives in London,
The high school student who I will not speak of due to an undying dedication to her, as well as a reasonable success in respect and honor,
And finally the single mother for whom I am riddled with guilt –
that I should fall in love with Nini Theilade in 1935. She was born in 1915 so it is almost a reasonable age for me to fall in love with her. And the times were different then; a man of 33 would not be frowned upon for marrying a woman of 20.
Unlike the challenges of my past impossible loves I am not engaging minor boughts with time and space; this is a full on battle. My plan of action will be varied.
To begin practically I will: hone my piano accompaniment skills for ballet; complete the compositions I’ve been working on for years for two ballets; write an additional piece specific for her particular style of dance; do more pushups, pull ups, and sit ups to meet the physical expectations of a woman in the 1930’s; work on my prose; button up my hygiene and wardrobe and get a haircut.
Moving on to practices that might influence space: I have begun practicing basic sleight of hand tricks, the French-drop for example. This might tune me up for more significant manipulations of space. I will begin studying chemistry so as to transition into alchemy, and quantum physics to magnify my ability to impact the observed. I am looking into being discovered by a Mystery School or other gathering of the Occult.
Lastly to impact time: I’ll begin by pacing myself as if I were living in the 1930’s. This will demand a bit more research into the times. More reading of books from that era, more watching of films from that era in their original format. I have also returned to a practice of daily meditation, but instead of focusing on morality which is principle (though often over looked in the modern context) to Buddhism I will emphasize first on the projection of the Astral Body through time but then also the Ethereal and then Physical Body through that lens.
In the end I expect another disastrous relationship that I do not regret for one moment for the love and magic that it brings my bleeding and broken heart.